Welcome to Kibitzing with Kytherea! Whether you're looking for guidance and support or just help settling a specific problem or dilemma, Kibitzing with Kytherea offers something for everyone.
There are many obstacles and barriers that we have to face in life. We have the choice to confront them and overcome them or deny them and remain troubled. Many times it is the fear of the unknown that causes us to remain comfortable in our chaos. Let Kytherea help you face the unknown and guide you on your journey.
Are you a wood elf in love with a dark elf and your parents just won't understand? Are you a troll who rather eat vegetables then a nice juicy gnome and are afraid to admit it? Are you looking for a way to tell a guild mate that passing gas in the guild hall pool to make bubbles is not funny, it is just disgusting? It is Kytherea's desire to make you feel safe and secure as you explore issues of all types. She wants to provide you with support and advice in hopes of alleviating your problems and making each day more productive.
Send your problems by email to Kytherea at cdelzer@soe.sony.com with "Kibitzing with Kytherea" as the subject. Kibitzing with Kytherea will be a weekly feature on EQPlayers and will be scheduled to appear on Monday afternoons.
NOTE: This is a role play feature that is intended for entertainment purposes only!
Dear Kytherea,
I send this to you as I am shaking cold in the guildhall and sweating. It's been 2 hours since my last swing. Oh Tunare, please, forgive me. A few moons ago, I found myself grouping with the wrong crowd. I was guildless, lonley, and was minding my business in Plane of Knowledge, when an Ogre approached me. At first, I was disgusted that such filth would have the nerve to walk up to a High Elf like myself and ask for anything. Like all followers of Tunare, I remembered what my mentor in Felwithe taught me, be kind to others, they always have money to donate. Ok, so before you judge, I know I have a problem with money! I'm a woman, and I come from a family of nobility, my father has seen the death of Vulak, I was raised with an abundance of Gold. So, much to my surprise, what he donated for my Temperance wasn't Platinum, it was a potion!
This is where my addiction started. I was curious, so I drank the Elixir of Health. I felt invigorated! I wanted another. I begged of him to tell me where he got it from. I have trouble saying what I did next, he directed me to his friend. I am truly ashamed for what I did, let's just say that Harry, his friend, had a few "shortcomings", and wanted help to boost his self-confidence. Yes, he was a gnome, and begged me to find him a way to grow taller, and he promised, that if I found him a way to become taller, he would give me 5 Healing Potions. So out I go looking, and finally, I find an Enchanter who is willing to change Harry into a Barbarian. He was beautiful, and we fell in lust. So, naturally, we started hunting together. Our love became strong, and he showed me a whole new prespective of Norrath. He convinced me that with the recent addition of the god, Mayong, that mortals could now become gods, and that Tunare was using me to gain popularity for the next Norrath's Next top Model Druid. So, Harry convinced me to kill followers of Tunare, and I did, but I was running low on mana, and there was no Enchanter in sight. He gave me my first Elixir of Clarity. It was so good; it blew my mind, literally. I had insight that I had never experienced before.
I begged and begged him to reveal the name of who he had purchased his potions from. He thought our lust was love, so he revealed the name and the location. Elwin Razorfur, in the Alley in between the Guild Hall, and the Bazaar. I had no need for Harry anymore. He was a Gnome, and I was a High Elf, I would find love elsewhere. So I ditched Harry. I found Razorfur, and started purchasing potions from the bulk. Clarity, Health, Invisibility, Love, Lust, Beauty potions, you name it I had it. I was taking them just to feel good; I sat at the back of Knowledge begging for money. I was broke. I was Godless. I was obese, smelly. I looked into the water of Tranquility. I was an Ogre!
Please Kytherea, how can I return to my beautiful elven form? How can I beat my addiciton of potions? Please help!
Thank you,
Annonymous.
Dear Anonymous,
A High Elf turned Ogre; you do have it bad my dear. Tunare is definitely punishing you for your bad habits. I imagine she wants you to atone for your actions of late. Dumping a gnome who loves you after getting what you want, begging for money to support your habit, hording potions for no real purpose but to enjoy how they make you feel...these are not good things.
I consulted with one of my brewing contacts and he gave me a recipe to help cleanse your body of the impurities you have flooded your body with. Take some morning dew, elven spirits, sylvan berries, royal jelly, a habanero pepper and a psilocybe of magic and cook them all in a copper pot until the berries, pepper and psilocybe are very soft and mushy. Let this cool to room temperature then mash everything together well. Once it is mashed smooth add a beaten dragon egg and some aerated mineral water and brew in a keg for about 20 minutes. Drink this very hot three times a day for 10 days.
While the cleansing drink will rid your body of physical impurities, you still need to work on spiritual impurities. That I can not really advise you on. I suggest that during the 10 days you are drinking the impurity cleanser you devote yourself to prayer to Tunare and ask for her guidance. Eventually, if in your heart you truely wish to mend your ways, she will tell you what you need to do.
I think once you have cleansed your body and your spirit you will again find yourself as an elven maiden instead of an ogre.
Good luck to you!
Sincerley,
Kytherea
Dear Kytherea,
It's me, Fenbin, again. I've been very busy lately, buried in my projects. As you may have guessed, I am proud to be a gnome. I was once a member of an all-gnome guild. Do you know if there are more guilds like this? If so, we should combine our groups into a unified force. I am considering dedicating myself to building up my former guild, to spread the gnomish influence to all corners of the known world, and to be prepared to spread it into new lands as they are discovered.
What qualities do you think make a good leader? Passion? Dedication? Organizational skill? Or perhaps just plain ol' good looks?
Yours truly,
Fenbin Dazzlebright
Gnome Advocate
PS: Did you know there really are gnome monks in Norrath? It's still a small enclave, but their ranks are growing. They are hidden deep in the back of Ak'anon, in a cave that can only be entered from the bottom of the waterfall. Their retreat has to be far from all the tic-toc noise of the rest of our city so they can concentrate on their studies. Now that they have it soundproof, they can meditate in peace.
Dear Fenbin,
Not being a gnome myself I honestly can not say I have ever looked into all-gnome guilds. Sorry but any self-respecting halfling would not subejct herself to being surrounded by nothing but gnomes!
Qualities for a good leader....well plain ol' good looks are really a plus but I think it is more charisma that makes a good leader. Passion, dedication, and organization are all good things but charisma is what will get people to follow you.
Gnome monks? What an interesting concept! I wish them luck with their meditations in their secret dojo behind the waterfall.
Sincerley,
Kytherea