Halfling Haiku
A Haiku is an unrhymed verse form of Japanese origin having three lines containing usually five, seven, and five syllables respectively. Here are some of the verses posted by fellow EQ Community Members.
A giant hammer
and with a hairless hamster
Kytherea is
Another Halfling?
Please rid the world of these pests!
Bring peace to my soul.
hunger never stops
forever always searching,
never enough pie
The Spicy Toelings
The taste of furry feet treats
Halfings on the plate.
Why the Halfling hate?
Perhaps some day one will save
You from painful death!
By a halfling arrival
Saved from death I've been
Boy was I hungry
Halflings are tasty
Iksar tastes just like chicken
Just don't eat the gnomes
The Halfling High Dive
Many come from all around
To see them go splat
The Alphabet Saga
Stories written for the alphabet saga have a couple rules, you must use a specific list of words in your story and each word must be used in the order it appears in the alphabet. Here are three of the stories written.
Fippy Darkpaw sighed heavily as he looked around. "Abandoned again," he sighed, as he rummaged through his backpack of goodies. "And I just recently got an updated loot table from the developers. Hunting Fippy is better than rolling up a drakkin, and heck I'm not even covered in cactus prickles like some of those new weirdos..."
Starting to doubt himself, Fippy sat on the edge of the Qeynos guards' aggro radius and pulled out his Fabled Fippy's Smasher. "The players would really like this gadget," he mused. As he wielded the Smasher, he felt power course through his body. Now, if only some n00b would come and mug him for it.
"Hail, Fippy Darkpaw," said a voice behind him. A chill like ice ran through Fippy -- finally, someone was there to test his mettle!
Fippy turned about. There was a naked human male standing in front of him.
"Hail, Fippy Darkpaw" the human said again.
"Hail, Human." Fippy replied.
"SOW plz." The human responded.
"Do I look like a druid?" Fippy asked, brandishing the Smasher. "I'm not carrying around a scimitar or other junk like that."
"SOW plzkthx." The human replied again.
Starting to get frustrated, Fippy pulled out a Happy Panda firework and ignited it, shooting it at the human. As the colourful kaleidoscope of gnomish colour enveloped the human, Fippy bluffed "There's your SOW. I have a new version that doesn't give a buff icon because it's permanent." "kk ta. A lion killd me in East Commonlands. I died before trying 2 get 2 butcherblock mountain. U no where that is?"
"I think that's through Burning Wood," Fippy said. "But do you have permission to enter Burning Wood?"
"I got a Note* from when I rolled this t00n."
"I feel obliged to tell you that you should have turned that in to get your newbie tunic," said Fippy. "I can't help but notice that you're naked."
"O LOL" the human responded. "I had a pair of sandals I found while fishing but they r gone now. N E Ways, thnk u, got one more question 4 u if u got time," the human said finally.
"Go ahead," Fippy responded.
"How come ur name is blue, it's like ur a mob!" the human said. "Yet ur talkin like the rest of the other toons."
"I'm Fippy Darkpaw! Bbbbarrrrkkk!" Fippy said indignantly. "I can do whatever I want!"
"O RLY?" the human replied. "Well 2 bad 4 u, I gotta run, I want to start baking. Hey do you know where I can buy sugar?"
"Hmm... best place is the Queen of Thorns in Abysmal Sea."
"Queen of Torns?"
"No, Thorns. It's the big city-ship."
"Where, can you show me?" The human ran around. "Ur SOW wore off. SoW Plz!"
Now frustrated, Fippy brandished his Smasher. He'd had enough. "I've had it up to here with your newbie questions! Now let me show you one of the new features of the expansion, where you get to view the world -- from your corpse!"
Fippy Darkpaw hits n00b for 32000 points of damage!
N00b has been slain by Fippy Darkpaw.
"While you're wallowing around as a ghost, let me point out that Qeynos will be the next zone to be revamped, and since our aqueducts are drying out, we're in the process of using a xeriscape to conserve our resources."
"O RLY?" the disembodied voice of the n00b said.
"Ahh yes I yearn for the days of old when people would be camping me non stop for my paws... but now I have to endure pointless babbling from people like you." Fippy paced back and forth, not noticing that he had just passed into the Qeynos guards' aggro range.
"You're not wanted in Qeynos!" one of the guards said as it ran at Fippy, sword drawn.
"You want some of THIS!?" the second guard bellowed, as it ran Fippy through.
Fippy Darkpaw has been slain by Qeynos Guard!
"LOL u need a rez?" N00bs_corpse_01 said.
"Oh, zap off." Fippy_Darkpaw's_corpse_3234734 responded.
Elhana Mistfall,
High Elf Cleric - 70th season
*Kelethin Legions*
Chialle sighed heavily as she looked at the abandoned stall next to her; prime real estate near the south gate of Shar Vahl.
"When's the last time an adventurer asked me where they could buy a backpack?" she asked herself, before going back to trying to figure out what to do with the cactus parts her last customer had sold her. Somehow, she doubted she would ever find someone to buy those cactus parts, but something on the edge of her mind left the possibility open. Even the fabled Khala Dun had weakness for oddities. He was even known to carry funny gadgets on his adventures.
Suddenly, she was distracted from her musings by a customer.
"Hail, Chialle", said Hakaaba. "I have some ice of velious and other assorted junk to sell and i know you have the best prices in...say is that a kaleidoscope?".
"It is indeed, my friend. The man who sold it to me said he found it in the belly of a lion up on Death Mountain, near Mons Letalis. The funny thing is, there was this unusual note inside."
"May i see that?" said Hakaaba. Chialle handed it to him and he read aloud:
Dear king Ratha Kalah,
I am obliged to report that the pair of questions you had regarding the actions of Lord Seru have been put to rest. I have enclosed the note in our usual method and will give it to a passing sugar merchant tomorrow with the instructions to deliver it to Shar...
"Oh, the rest of the note is too torn up to view, but it is clearly for the king. As an elder of the Khati Sha, I must deliver this to him at once!
Hakaaba: "My king, Chialle has discovered this note in an item she purchased." He hands the note to Ratha Kalah.
The king reads what's left of the note with a look of concern. "We had not heard from our operative in Mons Letalis in some time. His family will wallow in sadness with this news. We must cancel the plans to xeriscape the Scarlet Desert and act on this immediately! I yearn to zap that Seru into nothingness."
Hakaaba Sphaera
The abandoned temple was dark, cold and empty. The Mage opened his backpack, pulled out a flask of cactus juice and took a drink. "No doubt this is the right place," he muttered to himself. The temple was at the edge of a forest by the fork in the road, just as it had been described to him. This was where he was supposed to meet the fabled Dark Ranger and acquire some kind of gnomish gadget. But there was no one here at the moment. At least not that he could see.
"Hail, Mage!" came a voice from the shadows. His blood ran cold as ice as a dark figure stepped from the shadow into what little light there was. He recognized the deep bluish skin tones of a Tier' Dal dressed in usual accoutrements of a Ranger from the leather armor to the ornate recurved bow slung over his shoulder.
He pondered the existence of a Dark Elf Ranger. Wondering how such a thing could come to be, but he was not allowed the luxury of deep thought.
The Dark Ranger spoke again. "I have no idea what this piece of junk is supposed to do for you, but I am glad to be rid of it. It has caused me no end of grief to obtain and to hold for you. Pay me now and take it before I throw it into yonder pit."
The Mage held out a purse containing the amount of platinum coins which had been named by the Ranger's agent. The Dark Ranger, seeming without moving, swapped the device for the gold and then silently dissolved into the shadows. The Mage was once again alone.
"If you've cheated me, there will be nowhere you can ever hide from me." the Dark Ranger's voice whispered into his ears from everywhere and nowhere. And then there was silence.
The Mage examined the device. It had the outward look of a child's toy. A six sided kaleidoscope with what looked like an eye hole on one end. On one side was the delicate carving of a lion, and a mountain on the opposite side. There were no other markings and he still had no idea of what its function may be. He looked thru the eye hole, but could see nothing.
He reached into his backpack again and extracted the sealed note he had been given by the wrinkled old gnome back at the inn. The instructions had been explicit.
"I'll oblige you not to read this note until you have acquired the device." the gnome had said, "It's been sealed with magic which you do not have the skill to counter and can only be unsealed by touching it to the device."
Upon touching the device to the note, the paper unfolded itself and revealed the text to the Mage. "The device you hold is the key to the treasure you seek. It will guide you to a pair of earrings which, when worn will answer truthfully any question you ask. But you may only ask a single question for the earrings will go silent after giving you your answer. To activate the device, point it towards the setting sun while looking into it. Your path will be revealed to you. The rest is up to you."
The Mage looked at the sky. It was now just past midnight.
"Oh sugar!" he grumbled to himself, "Now I have to wait until sunset tomorrow to activate the device." Grumbling he pulled his torn and tattered bedroll out of his pack, conjured up a campfire and settled in with his back to the altar of the old temple leaving himself a clear view of the approaches to his camp. He summoned his faithful Fire Pet, setting it to guard duty, and rather than wallow in self pity over the delay in his quest, settled in for a night's sleep.
As he slept, he dreamed of Freeport. His home city had been expanding of late and his favorite new place to meditate was the new parkland just outside the Eastern gates at the edge of the desert of North Ro, and visions the xeriscape formed in his dream.
He woke with a start. The yearning to be home again was strong, but he had a quest to complete which would bring him riches beyond the dreams of avarice. So he resisted the temptation to simply zap himself home and settled back to sleep. He had a long journey ahead of him tomorrow.
Rawlden Gnomortis - Mage 56 - Tuesday Night Fight Club
If you enjoy creative writing and other fun activities, check out the Just For Fun board from time to time or even The Theater in the Harpy's Head Tavern where community members post stories they have written.